When the phrase, “You can go home again,” takes on a whole new meaning


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Picture this:

     You graduate college.  You get a great job.  You get your own place.  You meet a girl or guy.  You get married.   Notice I didn’t say, “…a great girl or guy?”  You move out of state or away from your hometown.  You live there awhile and then, you get divorced.  Since your promotion, you have purchased a house and even planned for a family.  But, there is the divorce.  Your world is shattered.  Although you still have your great job, you try to do things to boost your self-confidence.  You start doing single things like – going to the movies, going out to dinner, going to the gym, shopping, clubbing, stripping.  Then, you remember that you are divorced.  You start to  meet losers who see you as a cash cow because you don’t realize how desperate you look and sound.  You stop going to the gym.  You just stop doing many or all of the things you used to do when you were single.  Then, you realize you are divorced.  And you get depressed.  The few people who know you tell you you are depressed.  The losers you dated or still see during this period know you’re depressed; but why would they say anything?  Your work is affected.  Your loser benefits more from your misery.  You don’t know who you are.  You’re slipping.  You seek help.  You confide in a family member.  They tell you to come home.  You deny that you’re sick.  You stumble.  You seek help.  Your shrink asks if you want to check in somewhere.  You deny that you’re sick.  You fall.  You fall hard.  You check in.  But you don’t check out.  You well yourself.  You work for years without a problem.  You work so much, until you feel like you’re slipping.  Again.  You try to work differently but it’s too late.  You can’t change.  You fall without slipping.  You call home and they want you closer, if not at home.  You consider it.  You can’t go back there.  You can’t return to that job.  You just can’t.  You’re not crazy.  You are so burnt out until you don’t want to answer your phone again.  You go home for a visit after years away.  You get showered.  You realize how alone you were.  You don’t want to go back.  You know they don’t want you to go back.  You have all that stuff and people waiting back there for you.  You have to go back to settle things.  You don’t want to go back.  You have to go back.  You think that maybe you can make things different.  But, you can go home again and stay there.  You can start over.  So many years away, no one calls you a failure.  You will have to answer so many questions.

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