Yes
everything about you was infectious
that damn smile of yours could get you anything you wanted
I never thought you needed anything
for that smile always came right through the phone
wondering how you always did that
so well
Everyone loved you
And you loved them back if only in the
way you could
Laughter
Even as i look at your photo on the Obit
I can still hear your laughter
and my eyes water trying to remember the last
talk we had
and as you told me how your life was about to change
I couldn’t and wouldn’t believe it
because that silly damn laugh wouldn’t let me
and my eyes well up trying to remember who said I love you first
before we disconnected
and then I remember that at least we said it
and I want to cry and kick and scream because that’s what
best friends do for one another when they are hurting
but I didn’t know because you wouldn’t let me
I knew nothing
and I want to think it was because you didn’t want me
to worry
about you
and I still do wonder about you
because I don’t know what happened
how it happened
because you wouldn’t let me
and that damn picture in the Obit does you no justice
because I can’t start up a conversation with you after not
hearing from you after four years and picking up where we left off
because that’s what best friends can do
Dear God
I want to believe that my best friend prayed to You
before whatever happened
I want to believe that there was an angel there with him
to help him transition into whatever wherever he was going to
Please reassure me somehow that what he did on this earth because he left
was enough for you to hold him tightly yet gently
Please let him know that I am sorry that I didn’t know he was hurting
and that I wanted to be there
but he laughed and laughed and tried to make me forget
what he last told me
and how I wish he had only answered his phone the last time I called
so that I could tell him that everything wasn’t so perfect with me either
But he could come and visit anytime
or he could come and stay with me anytime
and I can’t even get in touch with his ex because his ex
was looking to start over with someone new
Oh God, I hope I am remembering this correctly
because over all the laughter I still felt that smile
assure me that everything would be alright
And now I find out through someone else
that it’s all over
And I fucking hate this because I don’t even know how to reach
your mother to tell her how sorry I am that you left home because
she didn’t like your lifestyle
And if I see her when I go home
I hope I have the right words to say to her
and I hope that I can break down in front of her and be myself
with her as you were with my mother
I miss you
I miss you more now than I did just because you wouldn’t
answer your phone
Now all I hear is, “The number you dialed is no longer in service…”
You were one hot number
with a flame that shined brighter than the sun
because of your smile and that damn laugh that would frighten me
if I heard it again
because it wouldn’t be over the phone
and we couldn’t make each other promises that we probably couldn’t
keep
At least I could still say, “I Love You”
when I play music by our favorite music artist
And along with that pearly white smile
I hope God met you at the pearly gate and lets you sing in
His choir
Hi TTBoy,
If you still have this site, please email me… I am his sister and would love to talk.
K
Kathy?
Please let this be “Little Kathy” that I loved so much from Syracuse, New York!
Let me know I how can contact you!
I would love to talk directly to you. I feel like there is so much I have to say.
My heart is very weak right now – as i hope this isn’t a joke.
TTBoy
Kim?
Please forgive me.
As soon as I hit “SEND,” i saw your name.
I do hope that you will contact me.
It’s been way too long.
Hey there would you mind letting me know which webhost you’re utilizing? I’ve loaded your blog in 3 completely different browsers and I must say this blog loads a lot quicker then most. Can you suggest a good hosting provider at a fair price? Thanks a lot, I appreciate it!
This Kathy I just happened find this now when I decided to search his name once AGAIN!!!! I hope I did this right and you receive this.. Little Kathy not so Little over and out….
I don’t believe it! Little Kathy has grown up!?