Anderson Cooper had author of “Queen Bees and Wannabees,” Rosalind Wiseman and CNN analyst, author and lawyer Jeff Toobin on his show to discuss bullying. It was a pretty good show except that when Anderson asked Jeff if the school officials could be heldaccountable (something I asked earlier in my blog) for someone getting hurt over bullying, Mr. Toobin could not – would not agree that a school official could be held accountable. Rosalind seemed to focus more on her “Mean Girls” theory that parents have to get involved along with everyone else. I really think everyone is missing the point here about Tyler Clementi’s case.
On Anderson Cooper’s show, there were pictures shown of Dharun Ravi and it a great display of affection was shown from his parents by their placing an ad in his yearbook. I had no idea Ravi was a member of his dance club at high school. He was a dance. As someone who knew Ravi said of him, “…his parents gave him everything…” There was never any mention of a girlfriend or any other friends that Ravi had during his high school years. Yet, when one reviews what happened with Ravi and Tyler Clementi, Tyler appears to have been open with his sexuality. Although he may not have been open to his parents, he was open at school, a place where he probably felt he could be free – as most college freshmen believe when they go off to school. Could it have been that Ravi felt envy of not being able to be as open with his own sexuality? Was that a way of getting back at Clementi? It feels as if Clementi’s asking for the room was , in a way, laughing in Ravi’s face about his ability. This seems all too strange that Ravi did not know of Clementi prior to his arrival at Rutgers. And, in such a short period of time, how was it that Ravi and Wei so close in during this time? Maybe the students all met during a freshman orientation session.
Invasion of Privacy is not a strong enough charge for Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei, the students at Rutgers University who aided in the suicide of Tyler Clementi. The charge of voluntary manslaughter should be added to Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei’s profile. After the first prank that was successfully accomplished by Dharun, it was no longer a prank – but based on his sexual status, this was a Hate Crime. Dharun Ravi, a dancer, no girlfriend, golden child to his parents…someone else would probably say that Dharun himself was gay. Assuming that Dharun did not try and hide his own homosexuality, what did his mainstreaming Clementi’s date with another young man benefit him? It’s not like he ran to frat brothers and cheered the videoing. He ran to a girl. Not a girlfriend, but a girl. What is missing here? It makes me wonder as well, what’s worse – smoking or being gay? Well, smoking has been successfully banned from many places. And, so far, a message is being sent everyday that being gay is not going to be tolerated and is not tolerated in many places. There are so many lies being told out there by millions of human beings closeting their lives for the sake of being accepted. People make it their business to make others unhappy because they are unhappy. Because of gaydar (a mental-physical feeling of a another person’s sexual status), many young boys, men, attack who they feel are gay people out of fear that they will be outed by them. It only goes to show that you can’t fight your feelings. Murder, killing, and ridicule are just a few ways that people who try and hide their own sexuality mask it onto others.
A message must be sent to public officials and school officials about Hate Crimes (namely bullying). When school officials are contacted by a victim of a hate crime or bullying, it is then the responsibility of that school official to handle that situation in the most effective and expedient way. What I find also is that even some gay people in power or in-charge are fearful when faced with an issue that brings their sexuality to the forefront. That is really sad. Fear exists everywhere. When we see the flamboyantly gay person, it’s not always a person of strength and character. This person is probably that way due to other issues in his life. Either way, closeted gay or not, the world sends the message that gay is an abomination. Gay is bad. Gay is sick. What if more gay people, when confronted with a straight-laced issue, started saying a phrase like: “That is so straight or That is so hetero,” would that change anything? There’s got to be some way straight people can get a taste of their own medicine. And, I’m not talking about all straight people who dislike gay people.
Are any gay people safe, anywhere? Parents, you should pay close attention to your child as they head off to school. You may want to hope and pray that they will be alright, knowing that your child is different. That is false-faith. Deal with the situation! Now, it seems that everybody (celebrities) want to jump on the bandwagon that a gay person doesn’t have to hurt themselves in order to get help. Really? I think these celebrities should get off the television and movie screens and go into the schools and talk to the kids about bullying and being gay. Oh wait, that would mean that some celebrities would need to come out of the closet. Scratch that thought. I still think that the world needs a new “Scared Straight” show for the kids today. Let them see just how tough jail is. Here I go again, with people like Paris Hilton and Lindsay Lohan, there is no jail. Pretty soon, even Ravi and Wei will be repeat offenders, somewhere.
And another thing, would the media please stop it with the PSAs using actors about bullying. It doesn’t come off believable!