On Tuesday evening, a mother found her 10-year-old daughter in the Allston apartment hanging by a scarf. John Tarver, a neighbor of the victim said, “When she comes over or when my daughter wants to go down there to play, I’ve never had an indication about anything (bad going on). I don’t know if (the victim) had seen it somewhere and was just trying something and it was an accident.” Where was the parent during the time the child was in the home? I do hope the autopsy reveals everything that is needed to put this situation to rest. Did the incident occur at night, while the mother was asleep? How could this happen if there was a parent in the home. This makes me wonder if all parents should be on the lookout for their child at all times…like they should be anyway. I know there are parents out there who say, “Well, I can’t be with my child 24 hours a day!” But you can know where you child/children are an what they are doing through monitoring. If the child is in the home, why can’t follow-ups be made with the child? “Hey, what are you doing? Where are you? You okay? I even think that children up to the age of 14 are not too then grownup to have a baby monitor in their room. It may sound silly, but it may do some good. A parent would know if the monitor has been turned off – unless in fact, that parent has been turned off. I am in no way blaming the parent of the little Massachusetts girl for her death. I do hope that there was no foul play involved to make it appear that this was a suicide.
There is so much talk about monies being given to schools teachers to provide better training regarding bullying. Who’s to say that all these incidents are a result of bullying? Bullying starts at home. The parents of these children know that their kids are bullies – because, more than likely, either the parents themselves were bullies or they still are in some way. There are families that display their hostilities towards other nationalities and heritages and the kids take on those feelings of the parents. But, then, those same parents would be the first to say that their children are model citizens. The teachers and schools need no more monies or training regarding bullying. The teachers see things but are reluctant to divulge what they see out of fear of retaliation. For all we know, school administrators, especially in my generation, have told teachers to not get involved and to let the child handle it with the parent(s). In today’s society, fear is what keeps people from helping other people. Unless there is some benefit for turning in a bully and even alerting someone that another “appears” suicidal, nothing will be done. We see Ellen on TV, with tears in her eyes and talking about her examples of bullying, but the problem with that is she is on TV. Nobody can touch her NOW. It’s about the pain these kids are enduring now – and they feel there is nobody who is going to make the pain stop. And to those people who want to say that suicide is a cop-out. Get lost yourselves! Do you have any idea how low that person must have felt to even attempt suicide? To get that low and dark in their lives, and it’s a cop-out? What nerve! Like one little kid said during a talk with Anderson Cooper, “sometimes, suicide seems the only way out.” It breaks my heart.
Just four years ago, I saw a body laying on the ground after an apparent suicide. The man jumped to his death because he felt his wife was not going to return to him after their separation. When I tried reporting it to a news station in Atlanta, I was told, “We don’t do stories on suicide.” Today, there’s probably a suicide everyday there. And pretty soon, it’s going to be big business…I mean, as long as they keep calling these deaths suicides.
What counseling can you give someone on bullying? Chances are, if you are in a school, one of those children who are being pulled into a room to talk about the subject is probably being bullied themselves. What if the counselor is speaking to a bully, then what? We have been told to put all assumptions aside. But what if the hunches were right and we did nothing? Double-edged sword? With the world still sue crazy, something’s got to give in regards to saving lives. Then, as the world is in such disarray and turmoil, some may just not want to live out these days anyway.