Thank you for watching Dancing With The Stars! And, the winner is…

International versions of Dancing with the Stars
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Okay, okay…so tonight was really Jennifer Grey‘s night with boring and near perfect performances – and I really liked her!  However, the one who has brought more fun to the Dancing With The Stars stage is Kyle Massey.  The producers of the show had their reasons for adding Bristol Palin to their line-up.  It’s almost as if they planned at least the final 2.  But, Brandy got in the way.

Bristol did look nice tonight in her baby doll outfits that showed more leg tonight for all those who actually didn’t get caught blowing up their television set last week.  She was definitely a more eye-popping substitute for Viagra tonight.  Well, not saying that all the Tea Baggers, I mean, Tea Party members are all dirty old men.  Then again, mama grizzly was strategically sitting directly behind and to the left of Tom Bergeron when the camera flashed back to him to speak after “The Pistol’s” dance for 10 million votes.

I would love for Kyle to win.  But, I would actually hate for Jennifer to lose knowing that her real competition was Brandy.  I wish Brandy would dance tomorrow night.  Just for the heck of it – to show America how wrong they were.  Oh, I forgot, somebody said America was the Tea Party…since nobody else cares about the show.  Maybe the producers of the show should get more inviting and interesting guests, like PORN STARS.  Yeah, PORN STARS would do the trick.  Pardon the pun.  I would even love to see Katie Holmes on the show and having little Suri Cruise in the audience, more guarded than Sarah Palin and that old woman she sat next to all the time.  Who was she?  Anyway, they could even get Oprah’s Stedman to dance.  Now that would be a mindF**k!  Gosh, the ratings would sore, I mean, SOAR!  It would be really nice to get some really older and distinguished people on the dance floor.  For example, Barbara Bush, Barbra Streisand, Sylvester Stallone, Clint Eastwood, Bill Cosby, Steven Spielberg, Carl Reiner, Larry King, Joan Rivers, Wendy Williams, Ricki Lake…okay, Wendy and Ricki aren’t really that old, but…  Those are just some suggestions.  I guarantee you, they will not turn down that opportunity.  Especially, Stedman.  He can’t wait to get away from Chicago, for any reason.

So, let’s give the award to Kyle Massey.  He’s the safe non-political threat.  Plus, Kyle has been the most consistent throughout the show.  It was so funny how Jennifer and Derek used a very familiar gimmick to bring people back to Jennifer’s hayday…Dirty Dancing.  I just wish that she had kept her old nose.  I love her!  Kyle went hip-hop, and did it superbly.  I guess Len was just a little too constipated to truly appreciate what Kyle and Lacey did on stage.  Poor Bristol…I can’t remember the song she danced to, but it was good too.  You know what else would be nice?  They should let Brandy sing on the show!  Now, that would be the right consolation price for her.  Let her sing and have the Dancing With The Stars dancers dance while she’s singing on stage.  Oh my, all these thoughts.  I should be paid for them.  Really!  What are those other people in Hollywood doing?  Apparently, not much but creating disturbances.

I am sure that Dancing With The Stars has not had its last controversial season.  In fact, if the producers play their cards right, there could be so many more.  With contestants like Florence Henderson slipping out like Wesson Oil, just imagine the impact of Betty White.  Why she would give every elderly person in a nursing home real reason to stay alive.  That may have been mean, but Betty makes light of her success every chance she gets.  Every woman I know want to see Tom Bergeron dance without his jacket on.  They don’t care how old he is.  They just want to see him dance.

I am just glad this season is over!  Until Emmitt Smith came along, I was never interested in the show because the contestants just were not interesting enough.  Now, I have hope…even though I think there’s something shady about the need for judges whose votes only matter for 50%.  And the popular vote only likes two-thirds of them.  I do believe the trophy was blessed when one of the staff members opened the envelope they claimed was meant for Bristol Palin.  The acceptance speech has been written and the little red dress has already been purchased.  The shoes don’t match though!

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