For a Male, what do the Christmas gifts you get mean?


sweater - clothes for winter
Image via Wikipedia

I am just curious. I
notice that the typical gifts for a male, brother, father,
uncle…brother-in-law is a tie, a shirt, or a sweater. What
do those gifts mean when you get them year after year? It’s so
funny but this year is the first time in seven that actually took
notice to the gift that I received from my sister. Although I
have two, it’s so odd that both my sisters gave me the same type of
gift. Reciprocated? Not really. It’s just
something they feel compelled to do after receiving top-notch gifts
from me year after holy year. This year, I got another
beautiful sweater. Because I am single, it’s easy for me to assume
that my sisters get me a warm sweater because they feel that I am
lonely. Why does being single mesh with being lonely?
Don’t they realize that at some point I will have to take that
sweater off? Then what? And, do I always have to give
some sign that I am wearing that sweater whenever I don’t have
company over? After every Christmas gift they give me, they
always follow-up for a few months to see how that sweater is
holding up. They make me feel so cheap by being single.
So, for them – being that they have these wonderful families, I get
them the family item…a nice waffle maker, George Foreman Grill,
Martha Stewart towel set, the DVDs of “It’s A Wonderful Life,
Rudolph the Rednosed Reindeer, and Frosty the Snowman.”
Something the family will eventually get sick of together. Then,
there are those men I know who receive ties from their family
members. A tie. Could it mean that the children a
telling dad to go and hang himself? What else is a tie good
for? It is usually the standard silk tie that can
be purchased on sale at Marshall’s or TJ Maxx that so
many other dads will be seen having been forced to wear them
out in public. So often, the dad concedes to the tie so that
by wearing it, he will be able to possibly make another accidental
baby this winter. A shirt is usually too small and an indicator for
dad to lose some weight. It’s a shame that a fitted shirt is
the prime choice that Christmas nearly protruding the buttons
because dad let himself go so badly after years of neglecting his
own life and health for his family. How dare they get a shirt
three sizes too small? So, the shirt will hang in the closet
for quite some time until he or the wife forgets to pick up
the dry cleaning one day. Only then to discover that his
favorite blazer also is way too small around the papa area.
You can always tell a man who has children. After a while,
they just look like they get no exercise and no love. Oh
yeah, and the girdle’s imprint can be seen through the shirt. What
if dad took those socks back to the store and traded them for
something else…even if he did have to add a few more dollars for
something more meaningful? Sure, it’s the thought that
counts. No it’s not! Some people, even children, give
gifts with no thought. I’m not trying to act like a
Grinch or even Scrooge, but c’mon. What gives!
Think about the gift you are giving somebody. Ask yourself,
“Would I want this crap?” If you are in doubt, you are
lying! You know what you gave last year. Some of you
even remember what you gave six years ago. But yet, you
continue giving the same, if not the same type of, gift. Dad
better just be glad that he’s not receiving underwear for
Christmas. That would really be telling too much about
him. Don’t you think? For the best part, why don’t people
just give gift cards? Is it because they’ve been told, “A
gift card is just so impersonal. It doesn’t show that any
thought went into getting the gift.” And you think giving
something that you wouldn’t want to get is any better? Give a
gift card to their favorite store. Dad loves Homo Depot, I
mean, Home Depot. There are just so many ideas he can share
with other dejected dads there. Even Lowe’s would be a good
store. But Lowe’s really is a lot more flimsy than Home
Depot. And by the grace of all that is good and holy there is
the glorious IKEA. Talk about a kid in a candy
store…? Dad will lose his ass in that store! So many
jollies will be completed after a visit to the closest IKEA.
Not only is candy found there, it is also gotten from there.
Think people! Think about the gifts you give Dad, brother,
uncle, brother-in-law. When a male receives a pair of socks, it
usually means that the person is ready for him to walk out of their
life – or that they feel that the male is too nosey. Stay
away, Male friend. This is your message! Tread lightly
or next time you will receive a pair of shoes to really make you
walk out of their lives. There are just some things a male
should just give back to the gift giver. Not ever gift is a
present and not every present is a gift. And
surely, not everything given is of cheer and goodwill.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s