It holds me like I don’t

want to be held after being

raped by someone I thought

loved me

And the entire time

I imagined being naked on a bed of

warm rocks that trickled water down

and gushed like an

oil well erupting for the

first time

Wanting

to be released

my back would not tense with

strength enough to throw the

assailant off me

though now empty

inside

that warmth of invasion I carry

always

Needing not to look over my

shoulder

Needed is a way to stand

between two mirrors

to see my face as it truly

is

and then turn around

and know that

I am still there

This is my reality check

For I am not what is shown to

myself from the mirror

on the ceiling

over my bed

Unless I choose that to be

That no one can take from me