Loving a Badge with Honor


Black and Blue
is what they both wore
Just that, he donned a cap
And she, long-sleeves and shades
so the neighbors could reach out
His pistol he used brutally often
even while the gulf flowed crimson
A silent partner to a proud one
Her cross was his badge of honor
Someday, they’d all see her praying
Someday,
she would have to close her eyes
and feel thunder and lightning no more
and hear what her voice sounds like
Someday, he will close his eyes
and relive it all

Loving a Badge with Honor


Black and Blue
is what they both wore
Just that, he donned a cap
And she, long-sleeves and shades
so the neighbors could reach out
His pistol he used brutally often
even while the gulf flowed crimson
A silent partner to a proud one
Her cross was his badge of honor
Someday, they’d all see her praying
Someday,
she would have to close her eyes
and feel thunder and lightning no more
and hear what her voice sounds like
Someday, he will close his eyes
and relive it all

Loving a Badge with Honor


Black and Blue
is what they both wore
Just that, he donned a cap
And she, long-sleeves and shades
so the neighbors could reach out
His pistol he used brutally often
even while the gulf flowed crimson
A silent partner to a proud one
Her cross was his badge of honor
Someday, they’d all see her praying
Someday,
she would have to close her eyes
and feel thunder and lightning no more
and hear what her voice sounds like
Someday, he will close his eyes
and relive it all

N. Abler


Yes, we carried them out
In stylish fashion
Dare we be seen as broken glass

Only one label sufficed
while the invisible tears demonized
Crying out steady encores

A card was like cash
Though the pin plucked the scab
Each time, the shadow grew darker

Who bestowed upon me
the gift of gab? Was it in my blood?
Can I explain even my own death?

I watch as I do
Beside myself, who or what smiles
back in the mirror?
Nothing changes even with a new light bulb

But, I know my name
And I can change
Anytime I want

I love you, because you’re an alcoholic (2)


She knew all of them.  He knew hers.  The knowing of why he got married never behooved mom.  For goodness sakes, she had grandchildren.  Not the first of grandchildren, but no less, he produced.  Just like she did.  Who cares if it was the church who pretty much forced her and her husband together.  The church felt it would be best that they stayed together, despite what it knew.  Maybe, it was their idea of ‘conversion therapy.’  Little did he know, that nickname her son acquired in college, Lou, which stood for “Loser,” would come back to haunt him.  Many, many times.
     As the drinking got heavier and heavier, the dementia and anger grew more fiercely.  His mom would throw physical tantrums at her best friend.  Never once did she assault her husband.  The police were called to carry her away each time.  Still, her was constantly reminded of his failed attempts at life, at living.  But, as her determined hate professed, so did her son’s.  When she hit, he hit back.  Once it was all over, no one remembered a thing.  Except for the apparent bruises and scratches and scrapes.  This obviously made him an even bigger loser.  Yet, through it all, her detached god-fearing husband could be found barricaded in his room all nestled on the tiny sleeper sofa that fit kindly into the short bedroom he called his own.  Mom finally broke the camel’s back when she was caught driving under the influence after leaving her younger daughter’s home.  Guess who came to her rescue?
     It wasn’t too long after her release, the authorities were called to their home again.  This time, it would be her last stay at the home she let the tormented spirits fester.  Walking into the front door, one might ask why the walls were so dark and that there were no window coverings.  I knew.  Along with all the crosses on the tables and walls, the Jesus pictures hung so strategically, cut-outs of biblical sayings posted about on refrigerator and bedroom doors…there was trouble there that had no plans of fleeing anytime soon.  Even after she left, the dad still slept with his light on.
     There were those times when my partner would attempt his own hand at withdrawal.  One particular event had his younger sister witness him having a seizure in the aisle of a Hobby Lobby.  It would be her only time doing this.  Her own bouts of repression and drinking would make her more numb to the fact that, all awhile she was left with Sybil, her brother and eldest sister abandoned her and the youngest brother for college.  Was her about to leave again, under different circumstances?  She wanted to be a part of his life without the future hands-on experience.  All the while, little sis knew that mom and dad were enabling her brother’s non-sobriety.
     Her sought help at every turn.  Sadly, when he felt the need to return to the emergency room, his family members were too busy to go in and sit with him.  They would just pull up to the front door and tell him to call them when he was ready to come home.  Where was the love?  He recalled the time that was most traumatic to him when he was escorted to a mental ward.  He didn’t know why he was there.  He wanted help because of his drinking issue.  That was all.  Somehow, he talked his way free and walked the seven miles back home in the dead of winter.  Putting his life in further jeopardy, he accepted a ride from a group of college kids who felt he garnered a lift.  Everything’s a blur, after that.  They all wanted to know how he made it back to the house…without calling either of them.

The Man who Grins


Pitted against each other

Sister and a Brother

By a man you took in

Who only sat back and grinned

 

Said you didn’t know

How my mind it would go

In and out of love

Still, looking up above

 

Things looked pretty and nice

Though, they came with a price

What made him so mad

When we all should have been glad

 

Time hasn’t changed a thing

With that voice, you could sing

It hurt me that you kept it in

Because of a man who sat back and grinned

 

We were supposed to be close

Who took the overdose?

No one did care

Just headed on to the State Fair

 

Remembering the beatings

You were absent for the greetings

Could a child fight the sins

From your man who sits back and grins?

 

 

Bye Bye Liquid Fool


I see you there
Lying away all our dreams
Funny how this leather armchair
Isn’t all that it seems

Wish I could climb in
And save you from it all
But what good is the sin
When only one of us can fall?

Had a fantastic run
Give and taking the bad
Will you ever see the sun
Once you realize what you had?

This could be a happy ending
Despite all the chitter clatter
With open eyes start the mending
Without a bottle that is the matter

Bye Bye liquid fool
I gotta let you go
Before you take my cool                     Well, no, no, no

Take care of yourself
‘Cause I’m tired and so confused
Just jumped down off that shelf
Of loneliness, used and abused

Mommy is the Bitch (that killed Gossip Girl)


Mommy is the Bitch

That killed Gossip Girl

Nobody wants to watch her switch

They’d just rather make her head twirl

 

Mommy is the Bitch

That killed Gossip Girl

 

Mommy killed Gossip Girl

And that’s no lie

Now her neck is one big old pearl

At night, she goes up to the sky

 

Mommy is the Bitch

That killed Gossip Girl

 

Daddy found out

What Mommy did

I don’t think she wanted a kid

He gave her another one anyway

Now she has no choice but to play

 

Mommy is the Bitch

That killed Gossip Girl

She can’t do it again

‘Cause that would be a sin

She’s buying so many new clothes

Instead of stuff for her big nose

 

Mommy was the Bitch

That killed Gossip Girl

You better watch your back

Or else she’ll get you in the sack

Attending a Tony Robbins seminar


 

 

English: Motivational speaker Tony Robbins at ...
English: Motivational speaker Tony Robbins at a Twitter conference in 2009. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

 

 

 

My Three and a Half Days with Tony Robbins

 

 

 

I felt privileged.  For the first time in my life, I was attending a Tony Robbins seminar designed to change my life.  The gift was presented to me by my boss at the time who had also endured the life-altering event along with his wonderful wife.  Just the glow on their faces when they asked me if I wanted to go only made me more curious as to the seminar’s powers to make one better.  In lieu of their success story, the icing on the cake was the $4200 (including airfare) they doled out for my benefit.

 

 

 

I arrived at a plush resort in Orlando, Florida that rivaled the best and largest of English castles.  This place had every amenity known to man.  Given that I possessed the company’s credit card, there was no way I was going to overstep my bounds and treat myself to anything other than what I felt entitled to…my presence at the seminar.  The least I could do was to pay for my own breakfast, lunch, and dinner that weren’t at all included in the pricey resort’s charges.  Aside from that, the room only added to the misery.  After a 13-hour day in the seminar, the comfortable pillow-top king sized bed was hardly used.  Yet, for some strange reason, I think the hotel knew exactly what they were doing when Mr. Robbins’ assistant negotiated the booking of the seminar.

 

 

 

Lucky me, my boss cared enough to place me in the highest level of seminar attendants.  Because there were no complimentary items at the resort, Mr. Robbins did see to it that his upper level had a catered lunch on the second and third day of the event.  The food was so filling and tantalizing until there was no way anyone could resist sampling a bit of everything.  Little did I know, everyone was being monitored by what and how much they had to eat.  There was the healthy, the beautiful, the overweight, the underweight, the dazed and confused, the schizophrenic, and even the repeat offenders who had attended the seminar for the third and fourth time.  I couldn’t believe the lengths people had gone to just to attend the seminar.  And though there were many attendees from different parts of the world, I later understood how and why foreclosures were up in the state of Florida.  While dining with the royals, Mr. Robbins’ staff members then offered another package that entailed spending quality time with him at a different retreat for another rate…a another costly rate.

 

 

 

Because I am naturally a talker, I quickly learned that this seminar was one which would cure a person of his or her addictions or afflictions.  It was said in the seminar that because you were there meant that you were concerned about your mental and physical health.  It was faithfully designed to create wealth – to be able to unlock the fear to be a better sales rep or saleswoman.  Prior to arriving to the seminar, everyone, except myself, was fully aware of the long and grueling days inside the seminar itself.  We heard some really interesting personal success stories from people overcoming all sorts of adversity, their fear of succeeding, domestic abuse (and how they just couldn’t say, “No!”), fear of failure, and childhood trauma.  We did loads of calisthenics, meditation activities, group sessions (though with roughly 6,000 people, there were a lot of groups).  Yes, it was hot.  It was stuffy.  No one passed out.  No one left the seminar complaining of any type of ailment.  And to think this went on for three days.  By the second day, I had made a few wonderful contacts.  There were a couple of people from Oslo, Norway that I am even still friends with, after four years, on a social media site.  One would believe that the making of acquaintances and the release of repressed feelings would serve as the most important life changing lessons.  But, the most important lesson to be experienced came at the end of the lengthy brainwashing sessions.  And everybody was completely psyched!  Just the thought of walking over red-hot, burning, steaming coals was enough to awaken the dead senses in anyone.

 

 

 

At the time I attended the seminar, there were people who did not follow the rules completely when it was their turn to walk over the fire pit.  There were coaches present who told you exactly what to do and how to do it.  Of course, there were the few who freaked out for no reason…freezing on the pit or walking over it then deciding they wanted to go back and start over.  And it was pitch black outside too!  All the better to be able to see where you were walking.  Anyway, those people, along with every other firewalker, had his feet hosed down.  If anyone got hurt, it was minimal and accepted their fault for the accident.  Unlike today, Mr. Robbins must be aware of the different time we are in and the class of people looking for a reason to make their dreams come true.  People know what they are getting themselves into before they head off to the seminar.  The sense of accomplishment I achieved was phenomenal.  I walked on fire and felt that I could tackle anything!  Even though I was exhausted by the time I had to walk over the coals (if you didn’t walk over the coals, it defeated the entire purpose of your attending the seminar), I was determined to prove to myself that I could do it.  Besides, I knew my bosses wanted to see the memento I received for completing the walk…as proof.

 

 

 

I don’t know what those who are claiming to be hurt are seeking by vocalizing their pain.  I am pretty sure I signed a disclaimer before I attempted any activity.  If finances were abundantly plentiful for me, I would travel the world to attend any Tony Robbins seminar.  Whenever I needed a jolt or a boost to awaken or stimulate my endorphins, this is the seminar to attend.  You sweat, you smile, you cry, you laugh, you meet, you greet…you become a NEW YOU!  I felt invincible.  I am invincible.  I walked on fire and I survived.  Sure, I still have times when I feel that things are getting rough and tough for me.  All I have to remember is that I endured a three-day 13 hour boot camp and ended with a wonderful walk over the fiery pit of Hell.