Indulgence of Pity


Waited for You
While I cared for You then
You thought it was a game
Every time I brought you back
You thought it was my job
All because You told me
You loved me
And I loved You
You died so many times
Until I knew one of us
Had to live to tell the tale
Of how we both ended up
Downward
I prayed and dreamed
Of better days and nights
Then, when I became ill
I could only think about You
And I wanted to run
With my invisible cuffs and chains
Ringing in my ears
Until my vow upstaged
What I believed to be my Karma
A walking AA meeting were we
Though I wish I had trademarked
“Enablers-R-Us”
More like, Me versus You
You seemed to hold the patent
On me
I did the work
You got all of the credit
At least, I could wear cologne
And make others move closer
My personal eyesore
Made me sore
With every kiss,
It festered
With every promise,
It festered
With every pitiful indulgence,
I prayed for strength
Even after you got strong
And I was pardoned as a witness
Bound to be protected by Love
Real Love
I still hear Your cries, Your pleas
Now, those old ghostly chains
Have been replaced by headphones
Programmed to repeat new vows
“Love Yourself First”
Investing in my own pity

The Race is…


The race is
Going to the store
Seeing different colored cards
Being used by friends
Wanting one so badly
Hating life

The race is
Told by a pretty blonde
She knows her husband is
Bigger, stronger, faster
And better
Despite popular belief
The cause is her effect

The race is
Swearing children don’t imitate
Their atmosphere
Until words are spoken
at the wrong time
wants to blame the school
and sue

The race is
Seeking solace from church
And the Bible
Remembering only what
Is necessary
To shine light
On what is dark

The race is
Voting in a sheet covered
Small box with a drawstring
while choices are made on beliefs
Not righteousness
With all eyes in the back
the print on the page
is overlooked

The race is
known for Right versus Wrong
dying to be a martyr
never waivering
until

She’s Not Going Away


I’ve got Ms. in my corner
And she’s not going away
The more I do for her
the more she makes me want to separate
The sight of her is foggy
The only way to feel her
is to medicate myself beyond myself
And she’s not going away
My Moses staff precedes me
everywhere I go
as I feel as if I am tipping in high-heeled sandals
When I finally touch the sky,
she comes along like an apocalyptic hurricane
Destroying all that is in her path
She does have a sister
who is more than just a pain in the neck
I am coward by her persistence
as like losing my best-friend all over again
And she’s not going away
Have I rented space to a cause
for a lifetime?
It would take my soul to revoke her lease
though the Judge would have the final say
in my case of free will
Her laughter roars with hands behind her back
She makes me want to love her
To accept her as she is
Yet, her volatility renders me powerless
except to keep reaching
to cease with the standardized tests
and the grade school counseling sessions
The pen often runs from my hand
to acknowledge my future
She’s not going away
No energy left to act on my mood
So, tuck my tail I do
until I hear what I want to hear
And all is well again

The Turnaround


How do I say, “No”
before I break my own heart?
Do I have to go along
with it all until You tell me,
“It’s not working”?
Or must I lose my fire
because all the matches I had
are now immersed under water?
Would I have relearn how to cry?
Maybe I would stutter
How can I mess up a simple word
that could either strengthen me
or the one thing that could cause me
to crumble before all those who I knew
were laughing at me in my face
while shaking their pathetic heads?
I want to be better
I should be better
I can be better
than what I have here now
There is a world outside of this shell
that wants to know me well
to see me well
to see me do well
and grow along with Me
So, I have to say, “No,”
before I am no longer able to
I gave you a piece of Me
and you can keep it
But I will feed it and make it grow back
fuller, stronger, and more productive
All by myself
until I am able to say, “Yes,”
again without hesitation
without doubt
without grief
without pain
without a You who wants nothing
out of life
I want to feel my heart beating
everywhere like a walking orgasm
because I want
because I desire
to share
and not just give
to someone unwilling to learn
how to love back
I have to be selfish
Now, when I face you,
that “No,” means that I have turned
Myself “On”
On I am
On I will be
Alive, valuable, worthy, and somebody

Out on a limb…because of “The Solid Rock!”


I am so distressed, right now.

My Jimi Claybrooks piece, “The Solid Rock,” was damaged.  Not only have I tried finding a replacement, I have no been able to connect with the artist.

The framed print is so inspirational and sentimental to me.  In it’s pristine state, I was the envy of all my friends in Atlanta, Georgia.  I purchased #1052 of the limited edition 1800.  It would be okay to have anybody want to ask, “If it was so important to you, why didn’t you protect it better?” I deserve that!  Just like one’s own spirituality, it should be protected…well-grounded.

Things happen.

I am in great hope that I can capture the attention of either the artist, Jimi Claybrooks, or someone who can point me in the direction of a newer print nowhere near the $850 asking price. 

Sometimes, I guess you can put a price on sentimentality.

image

image

TTBoy Says:


TTBoy Says:  Will Jada and Will Smith ever come out for an Award?

TTBoy Says:  Sarah Silverman is a total genius to be so talented while actually being    demented.

TTBoy Says:  Zoloft is better than Prozac.

TTBoy Says:  Nadine Parker of Clay, NY is unlike any other person on Earth.

TTBoy Says:  Is Lori Grenier really pretty?

TTBoy Says:  Haven’t You ever been screwed by the Church?

TTBoy Says:  Priests wearing robes should prove they’re wearing underwear each service.

TTBoy Says:  Is the NAACP still singling out brighter-skinned Black people for awards?

TTBoy Says:  We’ve had a Black President.  Why not get ready for a Cuban?

TTBoy Says:  The Most Underrated Black Actress is Black.  The Most Overrated White Actress is White.

TTBoy Says:  Hollywood is falling apart and coming together in Santa Monica.

TTBoy Says:  Men were wearing purses long before women were.

TTBoy Says:  “Finding Your Roots” seem to be an honest show.

TTBoy Says:  Voting Polls are just a distraction

TTBoy Says:  Jeb Bush has proven that he’s not his Brother.

TTBoy Says:  Hilary Clinton could be a dominatrix after her meetings and interviews.

TTBoy Says:  Is the Zika Virus the new AIDS?

TTBoy Says:  Celebrities don’t all practice the same religion.  But, their God tells them to do really strange things.

TTBoy Says:  Inter-racial couples hate each other during times of Race Relations.

TTBoy Says:  How do good-looking men with small penises really feel about themselves?

TTBoy Says:  “The Wandering Womb” Women who sleep around don’t get that.

TTBoy Says:  Is it taboo for a boy to see his father’s penis, but girls can see their Mom’s boobs?

TTBoy Says:  Do you wonder if the heroin addicts in New Hampshire have fibromyalgia?

TTBoy Says:  Will somebody please create a show specifically for J-Lo?

TTBoy Says:  Beware of women who pull their checkbooks out at the supermarket just after she is given the total.

TTBoy Says:  Does Katy Perry do kegel exercises?

TTBoy Says:  Models just don’t look like they’re starving anymore.

TTBoy Says:  Did Michael Jackson really own 50 percent of SONY Music?

TTBoy Says:  Do most girls want to be just like their mothers?

TTBoy Says:  Will Blacks exclude Stacey Dash from Black History or will she be forever scorned and cursed to the coldest part of Hell?

TTBoy Says:  Is Bill O’Reilly smarter than Bill Maher?

TTBoy Says:  Why are more White men entering the world of Transgenderism?  Could this be the reason Republicans are so Anti-Abortion?

TTBoy Says:  “Okay,” is the most thrown around word.

TTBoy Says:  Do 74-year old alcoholics know they’re drunk?

TTBoy Says:  You should always know that when a classy, pretty girl or woman excuse themselves to go to the restroom, they’re going to pass gas.

TTBoy Says:  Why do Alisha Tyler and Julie Chen look like they could be a real-life couple?

TTBoy Says:  You can always tell bad lovers with no exes.  They don’t have stalkers.

TTBoy Says:  What does Natasha Trethewey do for a living outside of her own?

TTBoy Says:  Why do some people consider Sylvia Plath to be a hero?

TTBoy Says:  It’s sad that the best thing for pain is sleep.  Or an action that will make you so sedentary till you won’t ever want to move.

TTBoy Says:  Should Senators and Councilmen be drug-tested for their paychecks?

TTBoy Says:  When using someone else’s bathroom, always call somebody into the bathroom after you’ve used it so they can take part of the blame for not lifting the toilet seat.

TTBoy Says:  Martin O’Malley was the only candidate that looked like a real President.

TTBoy Says:  Has Cuba Gooding, Jr. had cosmetic surgery?

TTBoy Says:  The best way to not take yourself too seriously is to wear the cheapest blouse and pant outfit to an event and let your boobs do all the talking.

TTBoy Says:  Is Chelsea Handler still drunk?

TTBoy Says:  Which will fade first, Jenny McCarthy’s mouth or her looks?

TTBoy Says:  Does Melissa McCarthy have a sex tape?

TTBoy Says:  Did Leo say, “No,” to Lady Gaga?

TTBoy Says:  If Black is hated so much, why is it the only accepted color, for men, at award shows?

TTBoy Says:  Did Sarah Palin really believe she would be Trump’s running-mate?

TTBoy Says:  Would you tell a woman she smelled like pee after she hugged you?  Would you hug her again when she got ready to leave?

TTBoy Says:  Is the show, “What Would You Do?” getting corny?

TTBoy Says:  ‘Tis better to Give.  There could be a live snake in the box.

TTBoy Says:  How many “Owws” are permitted when you begin anal sex?

TTBoy Says:  People who sing while sneezing are afraid of the dark.

TTBoy Says:  Most people close their eyes when their doctor stands behind them.

TTBoy Says:  Wouldn’t it be nice to have a Child’s Oscars?  No parents allowed.  Only talent.

TTBoy Says:  Even guys who dye their carpet forget to dye their drapes.

TTBoy Says:  Would Whoopi Goldberg ever play the part of a fat, White crackhead?

TTBoy Says:  Six degrees of separation…Ted Cruz could be related to Grandpa from The Munsters.

TTBoy Says:  Richard Dreyfuss will never be on the same acting level as Robert Deniro.

TTBoy Says: Can you imagine a calm World with marijuana legally lit up everywhere?

TTBoy Says:  Fisting comes in all forms.  There are women who like to get fisted.  Somewhere.

TTBoy Says:  Be kind to the Pole Dancers.  It takes a lot of courage to constantly go up and down on something so filthy without using hand-sanitizer afterwards.

TTBoy Says:  Have you ever had an accident in a dream and woke up only to hurt the same body part but in a different way?

TTBoy Says:  Do cat people smell worse than bird people?

TTBoy Says:  Did a Black girl in Albany, NY really throw the first punch on the school bus surround by White students?

TTBoy Says: Should the Governor of Flint, Michigan himself be responsible for the water crisis?  

TTBoy Says:  Why are the last 15 minutes of the News just filler stuff?

TTBoy Says:  Stop accepting people’s excuses and apologies for not having common sense.  Just tell them how stupid they are and walk away.

TTBoy Says:  Is Valerie Harper still alive?

TTBoy Says:  Do you have to be Kenny Leon’s friend first before you get a part?

TTBoy Says:  Is Celine Dion really “The Best Singer in the World?”

TTBoy Says:  Even after it has been determined that Jesus was a Black man, “Gods of Egypt” is still being distributed.

TTBoy Says:  Has Bill Cosby ever had ‘Spanish Fly’?

TTBoy Says:  How did racism start in the northern part of the East coast?

TTBoy Says:  If a boy wants to marry a girl just like his Mom, does that mean he wants to impregnate his mother?

TTBoy Says:  Every boy fantasizes about how he was conceived.

TTBoy Says:  The voices are on the outside trying to get in.  Nothing starts within.

TTBoy Says:  No matter where you put them, take your suppository out before sex.

TTBoy Says:  The best way to tell that a woman hasn’t had sex in a long time, see if she’s eating Weight Watchers.  She might even have stock in the company.

TTBoy Says:  Could the real reason the Obama girls are so well-mannered be because they walked in on their parents having sex?

TTBoy Says:  Will Ke$ha ever recover and make music again?

TTBoy Says:  The majority of single men do have at least one vibrator.

TTBoy Says:  Will we ever stop quoting dead poets and keep the living ones alive?

TTBoy Says:  Is Bernie Sanders ready to throw a tantrum in the White House?

TTBoy Says:  People are angry, scared, and frustrated.  And it’s all because they are constipated.

TTBoy Says:  Are you still considered a Good Parent when your child sneaks out of the house to be with someone who’s completely wrong for them?

TTBoy Says:  Are Dads bigger perverts than Moms? 

TTBoy Says:  Black Churches know they have to accept homosexuality.  And quickly!   

 

 

Bye Bye Liquid Fool


I see you there
Lying away all our dreams
Funny how this leather armchair
Isn’t all that it seems

Wish I could climb in
And save you from it all
But what good is the sin
When only one of us can fall?

Had a fantastic run
Give and taking the bad
Will you ever see the sun
Once you realize what you had?

This could be a happy ending
Despite all the chitter clatter
With open eyes start the mending
Without a bottle that is the matter

Bye Bye liquid fool
I gotta let you go
Before you take my cool                     Well, no, no, no

Take care of yourself
‘Cause I’m tired and so confused
Just jumped down off that shelf
Of loneliness, used and abused