“I Can’t Breathe”


Brought in out of Change

Because certain people wanted Strange

To let chaos run amuck

And you said You didn’t give a Fuck

Swore to drain the swamp

On a podium we all heard “Womp Womp”

You once called them “Stupid”

And paraded your name like Cupid

What thread count was your sheet

That didn’t cover the dead on the street?

You opposed one group that took a knee

Then laughed when done by the PD

Seems you have much more in store

Since a different virus kicks in the door

Even though the sunshine begs in line

Social Media makes the dark ones shine

Handcuffed, therefore to grieve

But you can’t hear, “I Can’t Breathe”

All you’ve done and said has been recorded

Is the Jury afraid they’ll be deported?

It’s hard to wear your heart on your sleeve

Don’t rush to judgment – just because “I Can’t Breathe”

Livestock tainted so the Market can rise

Some believe God loves the lies

So, the next time you do deceive

Don’t ask who said, “I Can’t Breathe”

“I Can’t Breathe”


Brought in out of Change

Because certain people wanted Strange

To let chaos run amuck

And you said You didn’t give a Fuck

Swore to drain the swamp

On a podium we all heard “Womp Womp”

You once called them “Stupid”

And paraded your name like Cupid

What thread count was your sheet

That didn’t cover the dead on the street?

You opposed one group that took a knee

Then laughed when done by the PD

Seems you have much more in store

Since a different virus kicks in the door

Even though the sunshine begs in line

Social Media makes the dark ones shine

Handcuffed, therefore to grieve

But you can’t hear, “I Can’t Breathe”

All you’ve done and said has been recorded

Is the Jury afraid they’ll be deported?

It’s hard to wear your heart on your sleeve

Don’t rush to judgment – just because “I Can’t Breathe”

Livestock tainted so the Market can rise

Some believe God loves the lies

So, the next time you do deceive

Don’t ask who said, “I Can’t Breathe”

The Decision


When I saw the tree
in the Robert Frost novel,
I knew i had crossed over
Glowing sun not damaging me
any further
No sounds that i
could not agree with
No being with demands
who hurled all that is unholy at me
My touch felt like a hug
No seat was necessary
for i knew i was just visiting
All was explained to me
And that was all
I needed to know
I didn’t belong there
Was my soul still not at rest?
I could not adjust to all that serenity
But i knew what was constant before
I knew my mission
Obtain Peace before i had Peace
It’s called the Tree of Life
It’s just not for me, yet

The Flower Pimp


The Flower Pimp

 

I created something

That was already there

It just needed me for cultivation

In all honesty, I feel pimped out

For being able to

 keep something alive

I didn’t know

The more it grew,

The more I grew

But it all started

Because I created something

That was already there

I made this thing my life

And it made me

I didn’t know

How green the world really is

Until it picked me from the litter

To take a stand

Still, I feel pimped out

But not exhausted

I like it

I didn’t know

Just how good it would be

Once you stood at full attention

I didn’t know

I would know

Legend (In Memory of Prince)


I appeared before your eyes
And affected your minds
I became the product
    Of society
You paid millions to see me
      Adored and criticized
            Me
You worshipped me more than Jesus

When I glittered
       I became gold
And was shaped better than
        The cross

You can never forget me
I live forever in your memory

I am a legend

My Dog Died and came back to me in a dream, after dying in another one.

My Dog Died and came back to me in a dream, after dying in another one.

                                                      

Life is so funny. And strange. And complicated.   And sinister.

 

My little Peek-a-Poo died in my arms in 2011. I thought my world was coming to an end.  Just the feeling of the partner I had had for 14 years, the longest of any relationship of mine, had to permanently rest in my savior’s arms.  When I uttered the words, “I Love You, Cassi,” she opened her eyes for the first time after being carried in to the room I was waiting for her in.  Her fur was still as gorgeous as it was when I selected her from the now-weaned pack.  I never cried so much and for so long.

 

I can’t begin to tell of the most horrible thing I heard when I called home to advise them of what happened. Only a person who didn’t know anything about compassion would carelessly deliver their condolences in a way that even God would shutter.  Believe it or not, this person really believed in their message.  A message to crush me.

 

The house I moved into, after relocating there from Georgia, definitely had a spirit that wasn’t very welcoming. One mouse made itself visible.  At least one or two others let their presence be known.  The water wouldn’t drain in the bathtub upstairs.  The power would go out when the power downstairs wouldn’t.  I always felt watched.  I even felt someone or some thing try and force me to turn over in bed.  Had I done this, I truly think I would have to find a new word for terrified.  It was even colder in the back part of the house I occupied.  That part was the bathroom and closet area.  I even noticed that I could neither bring in money or save money.  Sounds silly, doesn’t it?  No matter what I did, nothing seems to hold any permanence.  One summer evening, while Cassi was staying at a friend’s, a young child entered my upstairs abode and lifted my wallet, while I was sleeping in the room right off from the stairs.  According to the police officers who alerted me from the other side of the cut-screened door, it was a suspicious 15 year old boy they found down the hill.  He was stopped and frisked after fleeing the site of the police officers.  Because my address was correct on my driver’s license, it was able to find me.  Had that young person had an aggressive and explosive mind, would I still be here?

 

After that account, there was no need to testify. The kid was sent to a juvenile center.  I was sent into delirium.  Was there a greater force with me than the one I actually felt in that upstairs apartment? The compassion ran rampant. 

 

I often had dreams of Cassi sleeping next to me after her departure. My feet nudged her and I awakened.  She had not yet “crossed-over,” I guess.  Her energy was still there.

 

Nursing Class had been cancelled the day Cassi died.

I went back home and tried to rest after reviewing notes. Cassi looked ill when I picked her up my friend’s place.  He had another dog that Cassi got along with quite well.  However, she looked so frail after that short stay.  At home, she ate what she could.  She drank what she could.  That day, still haunts me.  My baby couldn’t even go to the bathroom properly.  I lay down after I made sure Cassi was secure.  I thought it would be for a short period of time.  There was no tossing and turning.  The next thing I knew, the alarm was going off and I kept trying to rise after turning it off.  But, something wouldn’t let me get up.  My body felt weighed down to the point of being held down through hypnosis.  Then, I broke free.  I called out to Cassi before I hit the door casing.  Horror hit me when I looked to the left to see Cassi panting in her floor-bed and her tongue hanging out of her mouth.  I never knew I could descend stairs without touching them.  She was in my arms when my family member opened the door to ask me what was wrong.  With tears in my eyes, it was suggested that I call 911.  Time was of the essence.  911 would take too long.  Besides, the animal hospital was very close by. 

 

That was the last time I saw my baby alive.

Call 911 followed by the most callous statement ever…by a family member.

 

I moved from that house in the summer of 2012. My health was deteriorating, but I was enthusiastic about my new move right across the street.  Cassi loved to lick my toes.  It’s just something she did when she saw my bare feet.  Why wouldn’t I feel her lick my toes, now, in this new place?  Yet, there was no feeling of her presence or no dreams to remind me of her.  The dreams didn’t start until I began staying over at a friend’s place.  First, Cassi appeared in the road out of nowhere.  I looked away, looked back, and she was gone.  The next dream found me following my beautiful, healthy Cassi up a flight of stairs.  She, of course, made it to the top sooner than I did.  What was strange about that dream was, when Cassi reached the top, she looked back at me, with her tongue out, smiling, as if to be sure I was following her.  As I continued ascending, I noticed a colorful light ahead.  Cassi disappeared.  I never reached the top of the stairs.  

 

In the latest dream, I opened a closed door to find Cassi lying in her bed, panting with swollen eyes, but in the same state I witnessed her in before her real death: 12/15/11.  This time, I closed the door to her room and let my guests know that she was dying.  Why did I do that?  What was the message she was sending me?  What was the lesson that I had to learn?  Who or what was sending me this message?  If I am to think that she was “crossing-over,” I would have to ask if people (she was my child) could keep returning after crossing-over the first time.  Cassi and I were always together.  Now, I am alone and no longer in communication with the first person I met after her leaving.  When I was in a relationship, Cassi was happy and healthy.  What is it that I’m supposed to know?

I died Again


I died Again.

I died again
Last night
And then, Again
Today
Every time I close my eyes
I can’t see
until I open them
Again
And then
I don’t want to
I don’t want to have to
imagine what life would be
could be
without the use of my hands,
Legs, feet, tongue, ears
minus the butterflies inside my head
Minus what they call a brain
I don’t want to be insane
But, I can’t keep my eyes
still

Like me


                          Like Me

I found someone
Who feels just like me
Lying softly under the sun
Face up minus a tree
Whenever the wind sings
That someone turns around
So cold it stings
Changing its beauty brown
Don’t know if it fell gracefully
Or if it was laid there
Admidst all the green tastefully
Yet, alone without care 
For that is my double
I know this to be true
Onward, there is trouble
To be blown away, who knew?
I found someone
Who feels like me
If only I could run
I could be safe under a tree