I want to die


I want to die

Because I have
lost control of my
usual ways,
I don’t know
any other way to live
I am alive when
the gratification comes
from doing nothing
except being myself

I want to die

Because I have
lost control of my
usual ways,
I can no longer reach out
and touch someone
just like that
And, they let me
They let me do
whatever is done to them

I want to die

Because I have
lost control of my
usual ways,
Not even a stimulating
piece on a page
is hard enough to crack
That might be the best
way to go, anyway
Between the cracks

I want to die.

I died Again


I died Again.

I died again
Last night
And then, Again
Today
Every time I close my eyes
I can’t see
until I open them
Again
And then
I don’t want to
I don’t want to have to
imagine what life would be
could be
without the use of my hands,
Legs, feet, tongue, ears
minus the butterflies inside my head
Minus what they call a brain
I don’t want to be insane
But, I can’t keep my eyes
still