Shadow


Hello. Hi
I said with a smile
If I should blink my eye
Are You here for a while?

Then long before
Like Yesterday
I closed the door
And hoped You’d go away

How did You get inside
Without knocking or bell
Dare me to run and hide
Just don’t drag me to Hell

Open the door for me
Go ahead, draw the shades
Make it easy for me to see
the skinny, shiny razor blades

I know You have a face
Though You don’t look at me
I wish You’d keep your place
Go, and Just let me be

Do I hear my own voice?
Or are You mocking me?
Is there ever a choice
To lose my sanity?

On the streets tomorrow
I may try to make a new friend
Someone who doesn’t like sorrow
And won’t bring my life to an end

And if I do
Please don’t say, “Hi.”
There’s no more room for two
To help me live or die

Kathy Ball


What makes her do
the things she does
All the voices in her head ring true
Maybe, it’s just because

She’s been living in her own world
Playing make believe and hide and seek
But now that her life has unfurled
it’s hard to get the truth to speak

Kathy Ball
has taken a fall
Down the ladder’s silver platter
Up against the wall
She has taken her last bow
Somehow
Someway, she’ll make (last) her last curtain call

She always knew it wouldn’t last
Going so fast with her past
Playing games
Naming names that caused others more shame
Knowing right from wrong
Acting strong
Lashing out way too long
Handcuffed to the same old song

What caused the riff in her tide
that she couldn’t hide
Was the love of another
A woman even her own husband saw in her mother

Worry


Contemplating
Demonstrating
Trying
Coping
Doing
Failing
at succeeding
Wondering why
and looking at the sky
You hear voices
because of your choices
telling you things
as if an angel sings
But do they stop
when you’re happy
Or do they wait
’til you’re crappy?
Once they find you
you’re never through
Medication
is their dedication
Keep company
with frustration
A life long friend
true to the end
who’s begging to stay in
as you look to the ground again

Like Somebody Other Than Myself


Six pills left

Until I see him next

I wish I didn’t have to

I hope I get lost this time

 

Standing there

Before the crowd

It’s just me

But there’s somebody else

 they wish to see

 

Will I say the right thing

Will I talk like I can sing

Will my hands and legs move and grove

So they can’t tell I can soothe

 

But I can’t do anymore

Than my body is alive for

I can’t be anything or anybody else

Like somebody other than myself

 

Playing this game

Just a symptom before a name

How do I let my real feelings show

Keep ‘em guessing or throw a blow

 

Seeking my end result

Though speaking to the leader of a cult

No generic for me

Need a taste of false reality

 

And when I go to cash them in

Shopping spree I’m ready to spend

A mental life lets it begin

Soon the bank will be my best friend

 

 

The Herpes Simplex


Why won’t you go away

The medicine I take won’t work

You fester below me

You pester above thee

I have to hold you back

Nothing is this simple

The addiction you have for me

will boil my flesh if I say, “Hi”

Why won’t you go away

and take your self with you

If I get numb, I may forget

and let you get

I have to hold you back

but not give you my back

The addiction needs direction

And satisfaction needs freedom

that I will not allow

It will never rain in my house

Even a mouse can hear a mouse

I will shout the right way