Ashes


Ashes to ashes

I am still a Buddhist

Loving to Love

The love that knows love

The way Love should be loved

Dust to dust

I am still a Buddhist

Chanting to chant

Chanting for Love

Loving to chant

Like smoke I spread

Disappearing I am still all

And everywhere, I rise

And Fall

I am still a Buddhist

The colorless exhale

Once the wind blows

From ashes to dust

Burning yet yearning to exist

Still, I am Buddhist

 born, created from ashes

The Decision


When I saw the tree
in the Robert Frost novel,
I knew i had crossed over
Glowing sun not damaging me
any further
No sounds that i
could not agree with
No being with demands
who hurled all that is unholy at me
My touch felt like a hug
No seat was necessary
for i knew i was just visiting
All was explained to me
And that was all
I needed to know
I didn’t belong there
Was my soul still not at rest?
I could not adjust to all that serenity
But i knew what was constant before
I knew my mission
Obtain Peace before i had Peace
It’s called the Tree of Life
It’s just not for me, yet

You just weren’t the one for m


Gave me everything You had
Still You weren’t the one for me
Never had a chance to be mad
When You should been the one for me

Drove your car through a snow storm
To prove You were the one for me
Greeting me in fine form
Why couldn’t You be the one for me?

Call You on the phone with nonsense
Because You were there for me
I knew you couldn’t ride the fence
You thought You were the one for me

I spoke up for You when You couldn’t
Did they wonder why You were with me
I spoke up about your pains
Then realized you weren’t the one for me

You see, I should have had the chance
to tell You, to say to You how much more I wanted and needed
But, You made it all about me
and how little I did to keep You happy
You did it all out of necessity
And that’s why, You’re not the one for me

When you think you’ve found love
Don’t look for anything in return
Blessings come from up above
There’s a chance though, You might feel a burn
But, I’m sorry You just weren’t the one for me

Love in Yellow


Cover me in Love, Love
Show me your true color
Don’t leave me with bruises
Just so I can make excuses

Cover me well Love, Love
Make me feel like I should feel
Don’t treat me like some ordinary fellow
Paint me in yellow

Cover me happy Love, Love
And kiss me all night long
Don’t mind my bleeding heart
While you try it all apart

I want to wrap myself around you
Holding on and back so tight
Try to have mercy on me
‘ Cause I’m too bright for the light

Cover me Love, Love
Sing to my front and my back
And if I try and get away Love, Love
Just pick up the slack

Cover me in Yellow Love, Love
Red comes on too strong
Cover me in Yellow, Love
A vase of yellow roses so long

The Turnaround


How do I say, “No”
before I break my own heart?
Do I have to go along
with it all until You tell me,
“It’s not working”?
Or must I lose my fire
because all the matches I had
are now immersed under water?
Would I have relearn how to cry?
Maybe I would stutter
How can I mess up a simple word
that could either strengthen me
or the one thing that could cause me
to crumble before all those who I knew
were laughing at me in my face
while shaking their pathetic heads?
I want to be better
I should be better
I can be better
than what I have here now
There is a world outside of this shell
that wants to know me well
to see me well
to see me do well
and grow along with Me
So, I have to say, “No,”
before I am no longer able to
I gave you a piece of Me
and you can keep it
But I will feed it and make it grow back
fuller, stronger, and more productive
All by myself
until I am able to say, “Yes,”
again without hesitation
without doubt
without grief
without pain
without a You who wants nothing
out of life
I want to feel my heart beating
everywhere like a walking orgasm
because I want
because I desire
to share
and not just give
to someone unwilling to learn
how to love back
I have to be selfish
Now, when I face you,
that “No,” means that I have turned
Myself “On”
On I am
On I will be
Alive, valuable, worthy, and somebody

In The Bowels Of A Rust


Churn the damn scam
that awaits its moment
to rear its truth
Like smoking weeds
green, brown, sticky
laying prostrate
telling secrets to onlookers
who marvel and record
defecated prayers
Wishes are all You have
Verbiage reins supreme
Smoke smells
before ideas flow
Yet, who will fail to flush
after You wipe
Then so, who won’t?
How much length do You need
to pull out the real You
Maybe hip-flex color matters
when I reach for the air