Dr. Doctor


Dr. Doctor
Won’t you help me, please?
You sent me off somewhere
That was just a tease

You knew
Without a shadow of a doubt
That I would return feeling blue
And that my mouth would pout

They must have been friends of yours
And the appointment was made so well
I guess I should have finished my chores
Before you told me to go to Hell

Dr. Doctor
You took an oath
To do no harm as a stocker
Yet you cut me like a loaf

What was the need of a blood test
When your mind was already made up?
How can I ever rest
Feeling the work you did was corrupt?

My trust was taken
Along with your hidden flaws
Dear Lord, was I mistaken
For not seeing your true cause

Dr. Doctor
Your home was brought to work
I heard your boyfriend was a clocker
But for you, he wouldn’t twerk

Dr. Doctor


Dr. Doctor
Won’t you help me, please?
You sent me off somewhere
That was just a tease

You knew
Without a shadow of a doubt
That I would return feeling blue
And that my mouth would pout

They must have been friends of yours
And the appointment was made so well
I guess I should have finished my chores
Before you told me to go to Hell

Dr. Doctor
You took an oath
To do no harm as a stocker
Yet you cut me like a loaf

What was the need of a blood test
When your mind was already made up?
How can I ever rest
Feeling the work you did was corrupt?

My trust was taken
Along with your hidden flaws
Dear Lord, was I mistaken
For not seeing your true cause

Dr. Doctor
Your home was brought to work
I heard your boyfriend was a clocker
But for you, he wouldn’t twerk

You came


You came
without alerting me
Was I to know
that your feet were clean
before you entered?

Now, there isn’t a vacuum
to clean up the mess
You made inside the home
I made comfortable for myself
My self now houses
all that your soul conquered
before

You came
to get me to say,
“I’m sorry you had to wait”
If only I held out a little longer,
You couldn’t have come
and I couldn’t hate you
like I do now

It would have been
someone else
who cared about what
they brought inside

The Turnaround


How do I say, “No”
before I break my own heart?
Do I have to go along
with it all until You tell me,
“It’s not working”?
Or must I lose my fire
because all the matches I had
are now immersed under water?
Would I have relearn how to cry?
Maybe I would stutter
How can I mess up a simple word
that could either strengthen me
or the one thing that could cause me
to crumble before all those who I knew
were laughing at me in my face
while shaking their pathetic heads?
I want to be better
I should be better
I can be better
than what I have here now
There is a world outside of this shell
that wants to know me well
to see me well
to see me do well
and grow along with Me
So, I have to say, “No,”
before I am no longer able to
I gave you a piece of Me
and you can keep it
But I will feed it and make it grow back
fuller, stronger, and more productive
All by myself
until I am able to say, “Yes,”
again without hesitation
without doubt
without grief
without pain
without a You who wants nothing
out of life
I want to feel my heart beating
everywhere like a walking orgasm
because I want
because I desire
to share
and not just give
to someone unwilling to learn
how to love back
I have to be selfish
Now, when I face you,
that “No,” means that I have turned
Myself “On”
On I am
On I will be
Alive, valuable, worthy, and somebody

I died Again


I died Again.

I died again
Last night
And then, Again
Today
Every time I close my eyes
I can’t see
until I open them
Again
And then
I don’t want to
I don’t want to have to
imagine what life would be
could be
without the use of my hands,
Legs, feet, tongue, ears
minus the butterflies inside my head
Minus what they call a brain
I don’t want to be insane
But, I can’t keep my eyes
still

The Church of Mercy


Show me again

How we do it

Do I have to be under covers

or is it something I can share

with my brothers

Show me again

How we do it

 

I may dress the same

as they do

Or maybe I just hold the chalice

better for You

Oh, the things I hold

 

Reading as You talk aloud

I get a sense of urgency

to be proud

Such a sensation

Comes over me

Until a face turns and gives me pity

 

Show me again

How we do it

 

Your word is Your bond

and of that, I’m quite fond

To know that I should know better

when Your voices becomes

an “I Love You” letter

Never will I divulge my secret crush

Hush.

 

So, Show Me again

What made You do this to me

 

Was it the air I breathed

when You walked by

Did my subservience entice You

and fixate Your eyes on the sky?

How many times did I

touch Your robe

Before we made plans

to see the golden globe?

 

But, in time, I’ll be on my own

Trying to establish a name

from which I’ve grown

And Anaphora will keep haunting me

in ways that it could only be

Show Me again

what made You do this to me

 

Show Me again

so I can have my one true friend

Your Husband Doesn’t Have To Know


Holding hands

And walking through the park

Each other’s greatest fan

See the back door after dark

 

A careful ring

With a special tone

Oh, how you make my heart sing

Why must either one of us be alone

 

I know he got you

But he doesn’t make your love flow

Believe me when I say this much is true

Your husband doesn’t have to know

 

The way you slip in and out

Of the things you bought with his card

Make me love what this is all about

Can it get any more hard

 

Break my back

Make me lose my mind

Never treat you like some halftime snack

The deeper I go, I never know what I’ll find

 

Keep it tight, and keep it right

I can taste the flavor in the air

Don’t let your head put up a fight

I’ll cherish our time with tender loving care

 

I love to love you, baby

How else can I let my feelings show

I’ll keep it on the sneak tip, if you want me to

And darling, your husband doesn’t have to know

 

And if you have any doubt

Go ahead and tell him I’m just a friend

He’s the one with all the clout

But we know how this tale will end

Your Thousand Words


What good are a thousand words

When I can’t say them the way

I want to say them to you?

What meaning could you possibly get

without my voice in front of them?

How many different ways

Could I ever display

Before you get dismayed

Or think you’ve been played?

Tell me,

Have you ever done the same

To somebody you prayed for?

 

What good are a thousand words

If you can’t understand

That they are my solemn vow to you

Without ever raising or chasing my tone

Causing you to be alone?

 

A thousand words

Could turn to curds

Even sung by birds

If they are never heard

 

The thousands of others

Captured and released lovers

Weren’t worthy of your presence

Though I can’t give you presents

This is my confession

Your love has taught me a lesson

 

A thousand words

Would be too many to sing

But if I cut them into thirds

Still, would it be joy they bring?

 

But how about I say three of them

Every day

A different way

Even while we play

Before I go away

I still mean I’ll stay

Cause at home is where I want to pray

And lay

After I bring you a tray

Of your favorite foods and ask you if you’re okay

Before I hear you say

Stay by me always

 

Maybe

I’ll save some words

For other songs

I want you to hear and not fear

Making more rights instead of wrongs

From sun up to dark

Walking hand in hand in the park

 

Don’t fault me

If I can’t keep score

I just want to be

Your thousand words and much, much more