Dr. Doctor


Dr. Doctor
Won’t you help me, please?
You sent me off somewhere
That was just a tease

You knew
Without a shadow of a doubt
That I would return feeling blue
And that my mouth would pout

They must have been friends of yours
And the appointment was made so well
I guess I should have finished my chores
Before you told me to go to Hell

Dr. Doctor
You took an oath
To do no harm as a stocker
Yet you cut me like a loaf

What was the need of a blood test
When your mind was already made up?
How can I ever rest
Feeling the work you did was corrupt?

My trust was taken
Along with your hidden flaws
Dear Lord, was I mistaken
For not seeing your true cause

Dr. Doctor
Your home was brought to work
I heard your boyfriend was a clocker
But for you, he wouldn’t twerk

Dr. Doctor


Dr. Doctor
Won’t you help me, please?
You sent me off somewhere
That was just a tease

You knew
Without a shadow of a doubt
That I would return feeling blue
And that my mouth would pout

They must have been friends of yours
And the appointment was made so well
I guess I should have finished my chores
Before you told me to go to Hell

Dr. Doctor
You took an oath
To do no harm as a stocker
Yet you cut me like a loaf

What was the need of a blood test
When your mind was already made up?
How can I ever rest
Feeling the work you did was corrupt?

My trust was taken
Along with your hidden flaws
Dear Lord, was I mistaken
For not seeing your true cause

Dr. Doctor
Your home was brought to work
I heard your boyfriend was a clocker
But for you, he wouldn’t twerk

The Turnaround


How do I say, “No”
before I break my own heart?
Do I have to go along
with it all until You tell me,
“It’s not working”?
Or must I lose my fire
because all the matches I had
are now immersed under water?
Would I have relearn how to cry?
Maybe I would stutter
How can I mess up a simple word
that could either strengthen me
or the one thing that could cause me
to crumble before all those who I knew
were laughing at me in my face
while shaking their pathetic heads?
I want to be better
I should be better
I can be better
than what I have here now
There is a world outside of this shell
that wants to know me well
to see me well
to see me do well
and grow along with Me
So, I have to say, “No,”
before I am no longer able to
I gave you a piece of Me
and you can keep it
But I will feed it and make it grow back
fuller, stronger, and more productive
All by myself
until I am able to say, “Yes,”
again without hesitation
without doubt
without grief
without pain
without a You who wants nothing
out of life
I want to feel my heart beating
everywhere like a walking orgasm
because I want
because I desire
to share
and not just give
to someone unwilling to learn
how to love back
I have to be selfish
Now, when I face you,
that “No,” means that I have turned
Myself “On”
On I am
On I will be
Alive, valuable, worthy, and somebody

Shadow


Hello. Hi
I said with a smile
If I should blink my eye
Are You here for a while?

Then long before
Like Yesterday
I closed the door
And hoped You’d go away

How did You get inside
Without knocking or bell
Dare me to run and hide
Just don’t drag me to Hell

Open the door for me
Go ahead, draw the shades
Make it easy for me to see
the skinny, shiny razor blades

I know You have a face
Though You don’t look at me
I wish You’d keep your place
Go, and Just let me be

Do I hear my own voice?
Or are You mocking me?
Is there ever a choice
To lose my sanity?

On the streets tomorrow
I may try to make a new friend
Someone who doesn’t like sorrow
And won’t bring my life to an end

And if I do
Please don’t say, “Hi.”
There’s no more room for two
To help me live or die

Feeling Me Because of a Secret


I was forced to

Tell a secret

I didn’t want

To tell

And it hurt me

 

Not in the moral sense

But the pain was

Unbearable for a good bear

And friendly soul

 

I was forced to

Give of myself

For somebody

Else’s pleasure

 

And they got off

Until

The light for me

Became clearer

 

When I took it

I gave it back

Until I could

Give nothing else

 

Delicious pain

It has become

Even my shoulder does

Think so

 

Yes, it got me

What perfect time

Along with your timing

Gives you applause

 

Thank you secret

Now I can be

myself