Worry


Contemplating
Demonstrating
Trying
Coping
Doing
Failing
at succeeding
Wondering why
and looking at the sky
You hear voices
because of your choices
telling you things
as if an angel sings
But do they stop
when you’re happy
Or do they wait
’til you’re crappy?
Once they find you
you’re never through
Medication
is their dedication
Keep company
with frustration
A life long friend
true to the end
who’s begging to stay in
as you look to the ground again

Really, Marie Osmomd? Are you sure he wasn’t gay?


While watching Marie Osmond on Oprah, November 11, I couldn’t help but wonder just how involved a busy person like Marie Osmond was in her children’s lives. As the television show continued, Oprah’s fabulous editing and all, I really tried to catch a glimmer of feeling anywhere in that interview – other than the real need to plug a book or a new CD.

I watched, and I mean, I watched intently. Marie’s son, Michael, was truly a beautiful young man. Granted, he was obviously in a lot of pain. But, the deciding factor for me in “judging” the scene was how Marie talked of her son’s love for her. To me, the words uttered by Marie told of a child on a quest to fully get his Mom’s attention. Marie made everything sound so sweet and one-sided for her. Though, how many times had Michael said such things to get his mother’s attention, and or affection? And, how many other letters were there?

When the family video was shown of Michael sitting at the table with his family, he looked like a troubled young man then. The glow that in his other photos was not the same glow as was in his family video. Was Michael drugged then, maybe on an anti-depressant? Something showed to be different. So then, because Michael was 18, at the time of his death, taking into account the drugs and alcohol abuse of the past, should he have been on his own? Why was he in his own apartment? I know that the Oprah show said that Michael was clean at the time of his death, but was that clean of everything – even of what he needed? Was he on anti-depressants?

Okay. Now I’ve stated my deciding factor for my belief. Poor Michael. How many times had he tried getting his mother’s attention that day? To think, Marie had to shout out love from the background to her son because she was too busy to take his phone call. What is wrong with this picture? Could Marie have prevented her son’s suicide? Was she really that busy to let her son hear her voice on that phone? It is so easy to say that Michael’s last attempt to reach out to his mother failed, thus, resulting in his saying, “Well, I can’t get your attention this way…”

Marie tried to mask her son’s feelings by talking about how he helped talk girls through their own self-worth and how he wanted to have children of his own someday. A guy trying to save a girl from going with a guy who only wants one thing from her…? This sounded like a scene from “He’s Just Not That Into You.” One other cheap thing done was Marie’s inclusion of her “gay” daughter. Did her daughter ask to be outed like that? Even though she may even be out to others, why exploit her that way to cover your own inadequacies?

It was nice to see Marie’s family present at her home. I wondered though if all the people were there because of the cameras. There was an older man, brother or child, there in the home to paint a picture-perfect environment, after the fact. Something still seemed wrong with the family that knows how to manipulate the camera.
And that’s what true depression does for and to a person. There are extremely high days and extremely low days. It’s the middle days that are the most vulnerable. Because when you’re in-between, you fear going back into that darker place. Maybe Michael was tired of the up and down. The roller coaster ride he was on with the feelings of his own and with his family.

I really feel for the Osmond Family. And, when Michael’s older brother said of how it hurt him being the oldest and having to bury his younger brother – that no older brother should have to bury his younger brother – with his busy life, where was he when Michael was hurting?

I don’t believe the true truth was revealed on the Oprah show. I would have liked to hear the “real” letter that Michael left behind, instead of a paraphrased one that maybe was totally changed for one’s own benefit. To the one who found the letter, I hope it was burned to memory or even made a copy of it. Now that Marie has given her version of the letter, maybe anybody else’s version wouldn’t matter.
Michael was not a bad apple. If he was gay, what’s the hurt in admitting it?

Tyler Clementi and Rutgers University — where is the true officiating?


Official Seal of Rutgers University
Image via Wikipedia

 

     This is not the time to let matters cool down in the suicide case of Tyler Clementi, the former Rutgers University student.  To let matters cool would be to nearly forget the heinous crime committed. 

     ABC News has reported Molly Wei’s attorney, William Fisher, has stated that his client is innocent of any wrongdoings regarding the Tyler Clementi suicide.  Molly Wei is not as innocent as her attorney makes her out to be.  Wei was fully aware of what Ravi was doing and had done to Tyler Clementi and did nothing to hamper his actions.  In fact, she may have enjoyed the show.  Also, to say that Molly Wei is a “wonderful, caring and talented young woman with a bright future,” is to negate all that she has done to aid in the destruction of another talented person who also had a bright future.  It is really a shame how people always try to justify themselves by claiming to be so loving and caring once they’ve committed a crime.  A good question to ask would be -“Who is Wei so loving and caring of?” 

     We can ask the same of Ravi.  No longer should that excuse be heard in any court.  The humiliation of Tyler Clementi was no mistake, by any means.  Clementi was not bullied as he was taunted by the two perpetrators (i.e. for ransom, extortion – unless Ravi propositioned Clementi/as we already knew of Clementi’s sexual preference).  The humiliation came after the unknown filming of Tyler Clementi was completed as Ravi, more than likely, then taunted Clementi with the recording. 

     For Ravi to view his actions as a humorous, childish prank is in itself ridiculous.  He and Wei had to know how grave their actions would be perceived by the one humiliated, Clementi.  Ravi should be pressured about “why” he did what he did.  He and school officials, who were alerted by Clementi as to what happened should be held accountable for not reprimanding Ravi and Wei earlier after the first filming of Clementi.  Wei should not be exonerated for she was privy to everything. 

     Again, invasion of privacy is no a strong enough charge for Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei for their actions towards Tyler Clementi’s murder.  Although it has been ruled a suicide, this is actually murder.  Tyler Clementi, in no way, with his back against every wall of Rutgers University, could fight his way out of the humiliation he had been subjected to.  There was no way he could win.  There was no one on his side.  A roommate is supposed to be a person whom the other could confide in at school.  In some way, Ravi’s dislike for Clementi must have resorted to the filming as retaliation.  Yes, you can point the blame here for what has happened to the Rutgers University student.  With so many being knowledgeable of his situation, it was, in a way, similar to a stoning.