What Have We Become?


To every darkness,

There is a fright

Some evil doesn’t come out

Even at night

Voices, screams

Ripped-seams

Memories wished away

by better days dreams

I had a moment

of atonement

when a flash came and left

Not in my eye but on my cleft

I could not have been

like those caves of men

Did they remember acts of sin?

My meditation

was their trepidation

Their need to survive

was unlike my will to thrive

They perfected the slay

Though my parents taught me to pray

Those men took wood and stone

and made fire

If I said I was alone

I am called a liar

How could they make rock

into a wheel

Now, the sound of a glock

kills my urge to feel

I guess it’s true

They did evolve

Still, we don’t have a clue

how to get through a resolve

Everything and everyone

is not what it seems

If we could reach

the burning sun

Do we need anyone to preach

when all we want to do is run?

Maybe we landed

too soon on the moon

Because of all we’ve been handed

a needle is often served with a spoon

Does being present mean

being here and there

Awakening to the scent of green

pretending just to care?

 

 

Quitting.


I must quit you.
You speak to me,
as if I’m not there.
Then, You dissipate.
Together, we sing
so joyfully,
only to escape my spirit
in search of my soul.
What more melody
can I take in, 
until I am hooked
at first stanza’s end?
I know I am here.
And I sense corruption,
a cou-de-ta to make me into
a robot of dysfunction.
It’s been fun
even when I didn’t have none.
Just too many to choose from
all in one night.  When I do.
That is a lighter I never want to use again.

See Me


I hear voices

But no one’s home

All these choices

Yet still, I’m all alone

 

Tell Me

Am I bothering You?

I can still see

Why You can’t tell the truth

 

Do You want me to go

Or let You shout it out?

Feeling so low

Why should I do without?

 

Can’t You touch me

Like You used to?

Still Your Baby

Looking to be Your shoe

Will You ever whisper

Sweet things like You used to?

Whisper Baby, Whisper

In this room built for two

 

I know You don’t know it

But, I was leaving anyway

Couldn’t make it fit

So I convinced myself to stay

 

Now, I see You got something on Your mind

No need to fight with yourself

You’re about to run out of precious time

‘Cause I’m about to start seeing somebody else

 

See Me

Always

See Me

Feel Me

Always

See Me

Shadow


Hello. Hi
I said with a smile
If I should blink my eye
Are You here for a while?

Then long before
Like Yesterday
I closed the door
And hoped You’d go away

How did You get inside
Without knocking or bell
Dare me to run and hide
Just don’t drag me to Hell

Open the door for me
Go ahead, draw the shades
Make it easy for me to see
the skinny, shiny razor blades

I know You have a face
Though You don’t look at me
I wish You’d keep your place
Go, and Just let me be

Do I hear my own voice?
Or are You mocking me?
Is there ever a choice
To lose my sanity?

On the streets tomorrow
I may try to make a new friend
Someone who doesn’t like sorrow
And won’t bring my life to an end

And if I do
Please don’t say, “Hi.”
There’s no more room for two
To help me live or die

Kathy Ball


What makes her do
the things she does
All the voices in her head ring true
Maybe, it’s just because

She’s been living in her own world
Playing make believe and hide and seek
But now that her life has unfurled
it’s hard to get the truth to speak

Kathy Ball
has taken a fall
Down the ladder’s silver platter
Up against the wall
She has taken her last bow
Somehow
Someway, she’ll make (last) her last curtain call

She always knew it wouldn’t last
Going so fast with her past
Playing games
Naming names that caused others more shame
Knowing right from wrong
Acting strong
Lashing out way too long
Handcuffed to the same old song

What caused the riff in her tide
that she couldn’t hide
Was the love of another
A woman even her own husband saw in her mother

Worry


Contemplating
Demonstrating
Trying
Coping
Doing
Failing
at succeeding
Wondering why
and looking at the sky
You hear voices
because of your choices
telling you things
as if an angel sings
But do they stop
when you’re happy
Or do they wait
’til you’re crappy?
Once they find you
you’re never through
Medication
is their dedication
Keep company
with frustration
A life long friend
true to the end
who’s begging to stay in
as you look to the ground again

They Won’t Leave Her Alone


Alone she lies

Though he is there

She tosses and she turns

They won’t leave her alone

 

The nightly medicine

She never wants to leave

Straining to keep it in

They won’t leave her alone

 

Fooling everyone is her game

Her past is them

She is her own trouble

They won’t leave her alone

 

To disagree with her

Makes them stronger

She can’t help but roll her brown eyes

They won’t leave her alone

 

She needs to connect but disconnect

Anything but reflect

The medicine wants to reject

And find a more honest project

 

That’s why they won’t leave her alone